“If-,”
Reflections, and a few grains of wisdom are all we need.
It reads,
“If you can meet with triumph and disaster,
And treat those two imposters just the same,”
This is a fitting quote to anyone who dares step into an arena such as Wimbledon, and yet it is also for anyone who dares to take a chance and hope to achieve.
Many people know this particular poem, if you were brought up in an English school (like I was in South Africa: King Edwards vii school), this would have been one of the setwork poems that you would have had to study.
It is a wonderful poem from that perspective, showcasing the masterful class and ease with which Rudyard Kipling constructs his poem and utilising a host of skills in doing so.
Without going into detail on all the poetic devices that Kipling uses as there are so many I haven’t mentioned such as alliteration etc, the ones that stand out most to me are:
- Iambic pentameter, which is the rhythm that is created throughout the poem by the use of specific words and sounds.
- Anaphora, the repetition of a word at the beginning of lines, which reinforces key messages.
- Epistrophe, which is the repetition of a word at the end of neighboring lines and adds emphasis and rhythm, example “you”:
“If you can keep your head when all about you,
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,”
- Antithesis — the juxtaposition of contrasting ideas — sharpens the message from Father to Son:
“If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,”
This iconic poem “If — ,” regarded as a timeless classic has its roots in historical events in South Africa. In his autobiography, Something of Myself (1937), Kipling reveals that the poem was inspired in part by the failed raid by Jameson in 1895–6. The British colonial statesman Leander Starr Jameson, incited the local British Expats in the then Transvaal (now Gauteng) to rise against the Boer government at the time. The calamity of the failure instigated the Second Boer War which in hindsight, altered the course of history.
Reflecting on this event, Kipling mentions, “Among the verses in Rewards was one set called ‘If’… They were drawn from Jameson’s character, and contained counsels of perfection most easy to give.”
Jailed for 15 months post the failed raid, and disowned by his country due to the failure, Jameson truly felt the lines;
“If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken,
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,”
and the entire poem is a Stoic reflection that whatever happens in life, while it may be out of your control, how you react to it is fully in your capable hands.
Written in a second-person narrative, it directly addresses the reader and gives them a sense of motivation, positivity, and a sense that self-improvement is all that we strive to glean from the lessons in life.
At its core though, and despite the reference to Jameson, “If — “ is a father’s honest and emotional advice to his son, guiding him to find self-belief in a world full of trials and tribulations.
Advice on how to become a better human being, another Stoic virtue, and to adopt an approach that instils resilience, urging him to rise from failure, to throw off the emotional conditioning that comes with defeat, and begin the struggle anew, as Sisyphus does each morning, pushing his rock up the steep slopes as ordained by the Gods for daring to cheat death.
Recently the poem has received much criticism from feminists and groups that highlight the, gendered Language, idealised masculinity and since the the poem is delivered by a “father” to his “son”, the exclusion of women, mothers and daughters from the poem is explicit and should not be celebrated or recognised.
While this viewpoint can be understood when viewed in the context of today, I feel strongly that we learn nothing from our past mistakes by erasing them. In fact, we should shine a light on them, review them and learn from them instead.
Like Ozymandias in Percy Bysshe Shelley’s famous poem, referring to the statue of a great King, now broken and spread across the sands, the past should always remain a lesson for the future, unaltered, unfiltered and available to all.
I first saw this poem on the wall of a boys room. He happened to be the son of my father’s mistress, who was the reason for our family falling apart and my toxic visits to their home, which I have since spoken little of to anyone really.
My father had put this up in his room, the room which I used to sleep in when I was forced to spend the odd weekend there, and it confused me for much of my youth and even up until my early twenties as I struggled with so many difficult adult concepts on so many levels.
Irrespective, I learnt that the words, while not directly from him, were from a Father, and a good one, and that I too could be a son, and one worthy of a father’s love.
“If-,” has been a beacon of hope for me, a guiding hand on my shoulder on my journey through life. At times giving me the courage to do the right thing, irrespective of the costs, but on most days, helping me navigate life by trusting the words and the wisdom and aligning them to whatever problem I faced.
Recently I made reference to my “holy grail”, for a current issue that I was grappling with, and the words helped me understand that two of life’s imposters come to visit one and all, sometimes more than once, and how we deal with them is more important, for our own mental and emotional well being than any outcome.
Having had little good influence from my own father, and apart from my two older brothers that I have been fortunate enough to have in my life, poems such as this, form the breadcrumbs with which “lost sons” like me, and I dare say “lost daughters”, can use to navigate the complexities and challenges of life, and create a better version of themselves along the way.
This post is my thanks to Mr. Kipling, and a testament to “goodwill, benevolence, advice and wisdom” for young boys and girls, wherever they may be.
May those that look for wisdom, find it, no matter where.
“If-,”
(‘Brother Square-Toes’ — Rewards and Fairies)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
